41,204
Minutes listened
That is twenty-eight days. You were awake for most of them.
▸ MADE FOR YOU · BASED ON A YEAR WE BOTH REMEMBER
Your top track this year was the sound of a chart going down.
You listened for 41,204 minutes. You skipped nothing. You played one thing on repeat from October onward and we would like to talk to you about it. $SPONSTIFY
▸ VERIFIED · THE ONLY RELEASE
The only track — one address, no remixes
There is one release. Everything else in the catalogue is a bootleg.
Contract address
{{CONTRACT_ADDRESS}}
ONE RELEASE. There is one contract address and it is printed above. Every other address is a bootleg pressed by somebody else. Check it character by character before you buy — the last four are what the fakes get wrong. We never DM first, and we never send you a link to claim, connect or verify anything.
Parody token. Not affiliated with any streaming service, record label, publisher, rights society or artist. No audio is streamed, hosted, or in existence.
▸ YOUR LIBRARY
Four playlists. You made none of them.
-
Supply
One token per minute listened, by four hundred people, over a very long weekend.
1,000,000,000 $SPONSTIFY
-
Fees
Ad-free, fee-free, feature-free. Premium is the same as free and both are free.
0 / 0
-
Liquidity
Saved to a playlist called Later. Nobody has ever opened Later.
LOCKED
-
Audit
Reviewed by a listener who fell asleep with it on. The report is a nine-hour recording of a room.
REVIEWED
▸ YOUR YEAR WRAPPED
You had quite a year!
Nobody asked for this. We made it anyway. It took us eleven seconds.
DENIAL
Your top genre
You were in the top 0.1% of listeners in this genre worldwide. Congratulations, we think.
04:00
Your peak listening hour
Every night. For eleven weeks. We noticed and said nothing.
1
Unique tracks played
You found what you liked and you stayed with it. There is a word for that and it is not diversification.
$SPONSTIFY
Your artist of the year
You never listened to them once. They still won.
▸ THE ALGORITHM
We know what you want. You made it easy.
It learned everything it needed in a single evening and has not needed to learn anything since. It does not recommend, it confirms. Every Monday it prepares something fresh for you, and every Monday it is the same, and you have never once complained — which it has also recorded.
▸ PLAYLISTS
The roadmap, sequenced.
Each one is longer than the last. This is not a coincidence and it is not going to stop.
- 01 Phase One: Songs to Buy the Top To Made for you · never opened again 41 min
- 02 Phase Two: Downtempo Accumulation Slower. Deliberately. 1 hr 22 min
- 03 Phase Three: Healing, Allegedly Ambient · unresolved 3 hr 05 min
- 04 Phase Four: The Long Hold One track. No fade out. 9 hr 41 min
▸ FROM YOUR LISTENERS
Three profiles, monitored closely.
-
Free Tier 0 followers
“I get an ad every three tracks. The ad is for the app I am already using. I have started looking forward to it.”
-
Top 0.001% Listener 41,204 minutes
“I have listened to more minutes than anyone alive. I could not hum a single bar of it. I am not sure it has bars.”
-
Still on Repeat since October
“It came on by accident in October and I have not touched the controls since. The controls do not do anything, so this has cost me nothing.”
▸ ACQUIRE
Three steps. The third one is the only one.
-
1
Create your account
Get a wallet. No email required, no email wanted.
-
2
Choose your plan
There is one plan. It is the same as the other plan.
-
3
Press play
Acquire $SPONSTIFY. The progress bar will not move, which is the point.
Buy $SPONSTIFY{{CONTRACT_ADDRESS}}
▸ FREQUENTLY ASKED
Questions from the listening public.
Why is there no album art?
Nobody has seen a cover. We are as curious as you are.
Why does the progress bar sit at 87%?
It has sat at 87% since launch. Moving it now would be a statement.
Can I skip?
The button is there. It has been pressed four hundred thousand times.
Wen shuffle?
The algorithm answers only in candles.